CH2 Story #4: Stop Saying, Start Doing...

It's about time I  stopped saying "I wish" and started saying "I will."

"A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken new action. If there's no action than you haven't truly decided." ~ Tony Robbins

Have you ever felt like your list was continually growing longer...and...longer with no end in sight? You have all these ideas of how to accomplish each item, great plans laid out to not even just check them off but to execute them well; but, every time you try to finish one task, more items keep adding on. With the list reaching neck high you gasp for air, trying to find a little bit of room to move. And every time you try to pause to de-stress, anxiety builds inside you like a ticking bomb. So...you take a deep breath and lay out on a field of green, gaze up into the sky watching fluffy white clouds swim across the ocean of blue while the bright sun beaming warm rays upon your skin. It feels as if the earth is moving but time has stopped. And slowly you fall into a place of rest.

Red lights flash to warn you: "An object that is at rest will [tend] to remain at rest, and an object in [uniform] motion will stay in [uniform] motion." ~ Isaac Newton.

That is where I am right now. Holidays approaching. A list of things to do that reaches sky high. I'm at a standstill of trying to knock one thing down but then another thing interrupts. But it's time to prioritize and to decide, am I looking for excuses to procrastinate? Am I afraid to start because I don't know where this path may lead? Am I really as overwhelmed as I think I am, or am I wasting time finding ways to de-stress when I haven't even done anything to deserve that time to relax? Right now, someone more busy, someone more stressed, someone with more on the line is accomplishing more than me right now. It's time to stop thinking/procrastinating/saying and start doing. Period.

Motivation. Discipline. Courage. Action. Passion. Dedication. Commitment. Focus.

Alright, time to make words into actions. :)

On a lighter note: As I mentioned in my previous post earlier this week, I was going to help out with a series: Finding Me the Series. And shooting the scene was so much fun! I got to catch up with an old friend, meet new people, make new friends and enjoy a new experience. We did the whole shebang of rehearsals, retakes, bloopers, different angles, touch-ups, eating and laughing. It was shot in an apartment. It had a gorgeous view that overlooked the city, definitely pricey, and was owned by a very intelligent and generous couple.

There will be more picture on facebook :)


ONLINE HOLIDAY SHOPPING??:

If you're ever shopping online with Ace Hardawre, Barnes & Nobles, Best Buy, Dell, Disneyshopping.com, Kmart, Office Depot, Pacsun, Petco, Sears, Things Remember, 1-800-Flowers, 1-800- Contacts (and many more), then please check out my site. For these partner stores, sign up and click here. For health, beauty, home, oral care, energy drinks/supplements, and weight management, it can be found on my homepage. Hey, if you're going to buy anything, might as well help a friend and a sista out :P My site will basically take you to their site which will have all their products and services. When things start going, I will be having promotions!

And one last final note...HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!! hope your tummies are full of scrumptious food! If you're going out into the wilderness of Black Friday shopping, I wish you the best of luck, a good time, and safe travels :)

More updates to come!
Mucho <3

CH2 Story #3: Character Development

"Encourage literally came from "in courage." The courage is put "into" you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves."
Author: Henry Cloud
~ Thanks to goodreads

Life is about taking risks and venturing down paths of curiosity, hope, opportunity, courage and even fear. Through each stage of life, with every trial and error, I have grown into new forms. The way I dress, how I think, my likes and dislikes all mold to adapt to the ever-changing world around me.

The dawn is breaking, new life awakens
Morning dew addresses the blade of grass.
Calling of all animals livens the world
Slowly coming into consciousness, I open my eyes.

Breathing deeply, my mind ventures the world.
The possibilities, opportunities and dreams all gather 'round
High hopes for the new dawn breaking
An open mind for the new life that awakens

I've walked down numerous paths,
Bridged many together creating highways and interstates.
Never saying goodbye, or they may cross further down the road
An unmarked path or marked path, just follow your dreams

Today, I begin a new journey, with new fears and new obstacles.
A path of uncertainty strung with self-conscious worries.
With the encouragement of others around me
I find the courage to take this risk

I don't consider acting and modeling a past time, instead I look at it as a possible second ending. But before fully moving on, I will be taking part in the Finding Me the Series. Although it will be for a split second, I'm pretty excited to be in front of the cameras again, working with actors/actresses, stage crew, camera crew and directors.

As for this new journey I'm on, psychology has won my interest. I won't bore you with the whole spiel but long story short, I will be focusing on what's to come next year. Jobs, volunteer work, going abroad, and/or grad school...these are my current unknowns.

For the sake of interest, there will most likely be less "story #'s" since this new path will not be as interesting in comparison to previous happenings. Instead, I will be taking the time to share some insight, shopping hauls, reviews, news, highlights and things to waste your time with :)

Yesterday, I got Lasik done by my dad! The recovery was a little rough on me, plus I was sick and dying of cold chills and fever sweats. Things are still a little fuzzy, but for the most part I can see without glasses or contacts. In less than 24 hours I was headache and pain free :)

Oh, almost forgot! (sorry if you're hearing this for the 100th time) I've made an online retail site. So if you're ever shopping online with Ace Hardawre, Barnes & Nobles, Best Buy, Dell, Disneyshopping.com, Kmart, Office Depot, Pacsun, Petco, Sears, Things Remember, 1-800-Flowers, 1-800- Contacts (and many more), then please check out my site. For these partner stores, sign up and click here. For health, beauty, home, oral care, energy drinks/supplements, and weight management, it can be found on my homepage. Hey, if you're going to buy anything, might as well help a friend and a sista out :P When things start going, I will be having promotions!


More updates to come!
Mucho <3

CH2 Story #2: Getting My Cheese On :)

"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. " ~ unknown

I may not have my life all figured out (...who does??), I certainly do not know where my professional life will progress to by next year and I am still wondering around the park of "what do I want to do when I grow up?". But what I do know is that I am on some path leading me to a place where it will all eventually piece together. I am that second mouse who gets the cheese :)

For the past year I've faced the ups and the downs, the slumps and the turn arounds leaving me with little continuity in any one direction. Roller-coaster ride aside,  I still acknowledge all my blessings.  I have a loving family and caring friends that give me space to breathe when needed, that gentle nudge to keep me moving and a cold slap in the face when I need to wake up. I have met many interesting strangers who are eager to share their stories and just as interested in hearing mine. We begin our conversation with a sincere smile and hello ending in a hug and a reluctant goodbye. We part ways only hoping to one day cross paths again to hear how our lives have grown. As I count my blessings I have decided to beat the groggy get out of bed feeling and to just jump out of bed in one jolt.

*drum roll please!!* I will now put all your questions to rest about the entertainment biz and the role it played in my life over the past couple of years. Ever since planning my trip to South Korea towards the end of 2011 and despite the rejuvenating experience and strong motivations I came back with, I did not continue with acting or modeling. In the start of 2012, I took a month of dance classes in various genres leaving me four months out of the entertainment scene. The aftereffect left me in a state where a mix of laziness and the practicality of it all held me back from pursuing it any further. As the new 2013 year started I have been fondling with the ideas of going back to work, going to grad school for education or psychology, OR doing both at the same time! I have looked into the Big Brothers Big Sisters program where I will hopefully get my little soon, I am currently finishing a course to get my 21E teaching certificate which will help me teach students how to read, I am searching and applying for jobs, sprinkle some Facebook time and Email reading with an Emeril's sized dash of Korean Dramas ("let's kick it up a notch...BAM!") and to throw in a little surprise...I started doing auditions again!

Today I auditioned for a Merk & Company's photoshoot. It was a standard audition, stand, turn, smile, pose, 3-4 shots and done. But tomorrow...is a whole new realm in auditioning for me. It's for a part in a Nike ad/commercial (they don't tell me the details) where I will be going through a few drills lead by a trainer! I found out about this on Tuesday when they asked if I had a six-pack...I emailed back saying yes...so that gave me two days to reverse all my late night chips, reese's, pringles, doritos, ramen binges. Let's see if that left me enough time to impress them!! ;p

More updates to come!
Mucho <3

CH2 Story #1: Saving the Best for Last

Note: Sorry if it's a little choppy, I didn't have time to proof read much. This is a long post...feel free to skip down to the end for quick updates on my life :)

Counting My Blessings:
It wasn’t until recently when I finally realized what a blessed year this has been for me. Through all the ups and downs; the battles and wars I fought; the tears, anger, frustrations; the slim chances of a good time being sprinkled precariously throughout the previous months [and only to have them stepped on making them seem like a figment of my imagination - yea...bitter-sweet memories]…I found the secret to putting life on "hold".

Before Tuesday, there have not been 5 consecutive days where the struggle to find peace and relaxation didn’t exist. Heading towards a downward cycle where negative energy kept eating itself and one bad thing leading to another, it prevented me from focusing on just me and living in a way I could be proud of. It was hard to be grateful for the gift of life, to fully appreciate the small blessings I ran into on the rare occasions, and to allow myself to catch a breath when needed. Sparing you all from the nitty gritty details and all the sad stories of my life [I will continue without them] haha…After spending the past year treading water and trying to keep my head aloft I have experienced 3 days of complete serenity.

Whether if it’s the ice cold winds, the chances of a white Christmas, the holiday cheer or the thought of sharing a little box of happiness with another person, it’s during this time of year where I find time freezes…even when the body is moving and feet still walking, the mind gets a chance to breathe naturally as we once did.

Although short, there has been enough time for me to let go of a lot of past resentment, the whole “why me” factor and to acknowledge and really cherish all the blessings I have encountered throughout 2012. I have been graced with new friends and mentors; I made peace with past friends where the elephant in the room never seemed to go away; through all the trials and difficult times, there has been so much to learn and take away from, and even more to be grateful for. And one of the greatest are my brothers who showed me a side of them that I knew always existed but never to been able see until now - the love and care they have for me and my happiness is something that is so precious, that you can’t even begin to express in words.

Focusing On Me:
As we grasped our first breath of air as a newborn, to others it was a miraculous sight but for us, it was life independent of anyone else streaming through our veins. As I was confronted with new obstacles, it was as if I was living a tale in a Korean Drama. I was so out of sync with my own life that living for myself and aiming my attention on defining who I am in this world was brought to a halt. When I was full of heartache and resentment, I could only see what a waste this year has been...I did not accomplish anything or progress any further in establishing myself in society -- career-wise. During these past three days I began to embrace the idea that although getting a job and figuring out what I want to do in the future, there is more to life than that. Through heartaches, lesons were learned, relationships grew closer and a lot of self-realization went around. Taking this new outlook on 2012, focusing on me has been a much easier task.

Repair:
Although there are times when you feel your mind, heart and physical being are working as three separate departments, they all exist under one head. And when one suffers, it takes a toll on the rest. As the heart sinks, the mind will grow heavy and the body will weaken. Being subdued to that one state for a prolonged amount of time, it’s like being bedridden with no desire to fight any longer. But not to worry, as you lie bedridden, family and friends will come to visit reminding you of the love and happiness that surrounds you and they will be the heart, mind and body for you until you get back on your feet. And for me, the days leading to Christmas day are the days I cherish the most throughout the year because that is when I come to accept this fact the most. And as the cold winds freeze the holiday spirit at it's peak, and with the life outside of the physical world at a stand still…the heart, spirit, soul or whatever you want to call it, gives us a time to recharge.

As this year is nearing its end, God saved the best for last and has shown me once again how I have more than just Him watching me, I have a loving family and the most amazing friends walking beside me through life.

---------

So, that’s enough serious talk, right? Time for some updates and HOLIDAY CHEER!

I am currently in that place where I’m ready to make a decision between working, volunteering and going to graduate school. Though it’s not set in stone yet, I am leaning towards volunteering at a non-profit while studying for my GRE’s and if all goes well and I can imagine myself as a student again, I will be off to school again. If it’s not a great fit or different door opens itself to me, I will seize the opportunity!

Last month or so I bought myself a few small gifts. Two from Stella & Dot (there was a sale, where the colbalt bracelet was discounted for about 10 or so dollars!) And these two really cool watches. I bought a white watch which will help feed 16 children and a black watch which will aid in giving support to 8 cancer patients! :) Changing the world 1:Face at a time. (The shade of the white watch is best represented in the pictures where I am wearing it)

Happy Holidays and I hope that as 2013 approaches, you will be able to have the chance to find some peace and happiness of your own. J

Mucho <3

Chapter 2: Struggles we share

So the entertainment path of my life has been at a halt for quite some time. For one reason or another, 2012 has been difficult to document career-wise. But I realized that these waves of hard times hitting me left and right keeping me down are part of the journey of When life meets reality... I will try to stay away from making this an emo blog and a venting space and focus more on making this something for everyone to relate to...or at least something for people to enjoy reading? So here it is...(warning: this was a quick splurge of words without much revision. Please excuse the lack of proper English formality and any grammatical errors)

You wouldn't believe the struggles in another person's life, even if they recorded their life and we watched from start to finish, the internal feelings that someone else has is untouchable. I just finished watching Haeundae Lovers...and to see someone with such a big heart deal with people going through such lengths to bring her down, to see her really struggle through these trials and even witnessing her break down...not to say it was good to see someone go through hardships, but it was refreshing to see her story. It was not like other stories where someone meets an obstacle and has to fight through it with full strength and eventually succeeds with no times of wanting to give up...she was human, she fought, she fell, she broke down with little hope left, and found a way to get back up to fight some more. It brings comfort and more clarity to the idea that we all go through times where we think that it could not possibly get any worse than this...where we ache in pain so much that we don't think we can fight our way through it. But it boils down to this...we all struggle, we all fall, and we all go through times where feel like that we are at a dead end and now way out...the key word is "we". No one is doing this alone.

We ask...who will be there at the end of the tunnel waiting? Who will be there to go through all this with me...will there be someone with me at all? When I get to the end, will something happen to make the tunnel collapse? Will I be stronger then...than now? Those questions and more...

All these thoughts, all these struggles, and all these bumps and bruises...they will subside, there will always be new ones, and things will come back around again. Through all this it's important to realize that at the end of the day the person you can count on the most is yourself. Give yourself a break, pat yourself on the back from time to time. Allow yourself to come up for air and breath. Whether if it's with family, your love life, your career or inner turmoil...maybe everything...if take a step back to look at the big picture and search hard enough, you'll find the thing that will help you get through your tough time. You have one life to live, you will always have new monsters to face, new risks to take, and new good memories to make, so you might as well make the most of everything...the good and the bad.

If it's your career, take a look at yourself and ask, is this job it? Can I use this job experience to my advantage and succeed in this line of path or should I jump on the next train and use this experience to help me down another path?

If it's your family, you have friends to love you, hobbies and/or career to distract you and you have your own strength to count on. You have the heart of kindness and forgiveness. You have a bright mind and unconditional love on your side. Even if you can't see it now, somewhere down the road where pride has diminished and pain has subsided, there will always be that love. Especially with family, time is on your side.

If it's your love life, you will always have family and friends to help heal that void in your heart. So, take some time and focus on yourself. Focus on your life. Be selfish and just think about your own happiness.

Control the controllable, amend the amendable...let go of the incomprehensible, have faith in the unpredictable and imagine the unimaginable. Live your life to the fullest and learn to appreciate each experience for all that it offers.

Whatever you go through now will be part of you forever. So deal with it well, do everything in good spirits and a full heart. Use these difficult times to mold yourself into a stronger, wiser and more brilliant person.

Although we still have a month left of 2012, I've never been so excited to see the new year come. To see how things will unfold, how 2012 has shaped me and what new adventures await for me. Until then, I ask myself, is it really as the saying goes - everything will be okay in the end, so if things are not okay now, then you're not at the end yet? If that's the case, I will play the role as the anxious child in the backseat of a car with only one question at heart...Are we there yet?

Each struggle is unique to each individual

Everyone handles their problems differently

And it's okay to lean on others

In the end, everything will be okay :)

Mucho <3