Chapter 2: Struggles we share

So the entertainment path of my life has been at a halt for quite some time. For one reason or another, 2012 has been difficult to document career-wise. But I realized that these waves of hard times hitting me left and right keeping me down are part of the journey of When life meets reality... I will try to stay away from making this an emo blog and a venting space and focus more on making this something for everyone to relate to...or at least something for people to enjoy reading? So here it is...(warning: this was a quick splurge of words without much revision. Please excuse the lack of proper English formality and any grammatical errors)

You wouldn't believe the struggles in another person's life, even if they recorded their life and we watched from start to finish, the internal feelings that someone else has is untouchable. I just finished watching Haeundae Lovers...and to see someone with such a big heart deal with people going through such lengths to bring her down, to see her really struggle through these trials and even witnessing her break down...not to say it was good to see someone go through hardships, but it was refreshing to see her story. It was not like other stories where someone meets an obstacle and has to fight through it with full strength and eventually succeeds with no times of wanting to give up...she was human, she fought, she fell, she broke down with little hope left, and found a way to get back up to fight some more. It brings comfort and more clarity to the idea that we all go through times where we think that it could not possibly get any worse than this...where we ache in pain so much that we don't think we can fight our way through it. But it boils down to this...we all struggle, we all fall, and we all go through times where feel like that we are at a dead end and now way out...the key word is "we". No one is doing this alone.

We ask...who will be there at the end of the tunnel waiting? Who will be there to go through all this with me...will there be someone with me at all? When I get to the end, will something happen to make the tunnel collapse? Will I be stronger then...than now? Those questions and more...

All these thoughts, all these struggles, and all these bumps and bruises...they will subside, there will always be new ones, and things will come back around again. Through all this it's important to realize that at the end of the day the person you can count on the most is yourself. Give yourself a break, pat yourself on the back from time to time. Allow yourself to come up for air and breath. Whether if it's with family, your love life, your career or inner turmoil...maybe everything...if take a step back to look at the big picture and search hard enough, you'll find the thing that will help you get through your tough time. You have one life to live, you will always have new monsters to face, new risks to take, and new good memories to make, so you might as well make the most of everything...the good and the bad.

If it's your career, take a look at yourself and ask, is this job it? Can I use this job experience to my advantage and succeed in this line of path or should I jump on the next train and use this experience to help me down another path?

If it's your family, you have friends to love you, hobbies and/or career to distract you and you have your own strength to count on. You have the heart of kindness and forgiveness. You have a bright mind and unconditional love on your side. Even if you can't see it now, somewhere down the road where pride has diminished and pain has subsided, there will always be that love. Especially with family, time is on your side.

If it's your love life, you will always have family and friends to help heal that void in your heart. So, take some time and focus on yourself. Focus on your life. Be selfish and just think about your own happiness.

Control the controllable, amend the amendable...let go of the incomprehensible, have faith in the unpredictable and imagine the unimaginable. Live your life to the fullest and learn to appreciate each experience for all that it offers.

Whatever you go through now will be part of you forever. So deal with it well, do everything in good spirits and a full heart. Use these difficult times to mold yourself into a stronger, wiser and more brilliant person.

Although we still have a month left of 2012, I've never been so excited to see the new year come. To see how things will unfold, how 2012 has shaped me and what new adventures await for me. Until then, I ask myself, is it really as the saying goes - everything will be okay in the end, so if things are not okay now, then you're not at the end yet? If that's the case, I will play the role as the anxious child in the backseat of a car with only one question at heart...Are we there yet?

Each struggle is unique to each individual

Everyone handles their problems differently

And it's okay to lean on others

In the end, everything will be okay :)

Mucho <3

Story #77: New Beginnings

New year • New resolutions • New outlooks • New motivations

I got back Saturday night, had our annual belated family Christmas dinner Sunday and now it's time to get back on track.

As you might have guessed, as stressful as it may have been, I absolutely loved my time in Korea and I am still looking for a reason for me to live there for a few years ;p.

I can't even express how blessed I was on this trip. I did not see a miracle, I did not meet my true love, or catch a break there. But, I was challenged in many different ways. I questioned myself, I sought advice under new rocks and renewed my faith. I believe that everything has a reason and purpose, whether it be good or bad. And despite each experience, there is always an optimistic side where you can look back on the situation and see with 20/20 hindsight. 20/20 hindsight does not just show you the outcome of an event, but it allows you to analyze, wish, think about the what ifs, stir up feelings of joy or guilt and ultimately, it gives you relate-able history to learn from. My past is my present and what I make of it is my future. And I can honestly say my past was enriched with well-rounded experiences, including my recent trip to Korea. Reconnecting with old friends and making new ones with truly inspirational people has lit up an old bulb. This isn't a new finding, it's common sense knowledge that I never truly grasped. I believed it, I said it, I motivated others with it but it wasn't until a few days ago where I really felt it. As I constantly re-analyze my past, I am continually confronted with fears that I understand and acknowledge; but, the problem with that is...I never take the chance to embrace it. Knowing what the outcome is before even taking the first step to reach the finish line never allows a person to experience the process of healing. I may not be able to say I conquered all my fears within the past month I spent in Korea but what I can say is that I left Korea with a courageous outlook on my short term goals and new motivations that will allow me to hold myself more accountable.

With that said, (with perfect timing) I have walked into the new year with new resolutions, new outlooks and new motivations. A little off track, but I was actually questioning myself whether or not it was good to be this transparent with each step of my life, I don't have a definite answer but I guess I'll worry about it when I get there. On that note, I do have new plans. I am looking to live in New York for a month (for now) to take classes in dance, vocal development and acting. Anyone want to help me find a place to live for a month?? :)

I know you are all interested in pictures and details of Korea, so hopefully within the next few posts I'll find a way to transition into them. Meanwhile, stay warm and safe during the winter weather. (I feel like it is finally coming) ☃ ◆ ❄

More updates are sure to come!
Mucho <3

Food for Thought
Less = More

Story #76: 'Tis the Season of Giving

'Tis the Season of Giving -- A Hopeful Sign

Sasha Dichter: The Generosity Experiment from TED Blog on Vimeo.

Sasha Dichter's Blog on generosity
Acumen Fund
Husk Power Systems

The holiday of gratitude where we are able to emphasize thankfulness passes and enters into our last month of the year where our journey through a wintry wonderland begins. It's like a new realm, where another sector of feelings are to be emphasized. And we begin:

Generosity...kindness...happiness...and...warmth, a few of the most powerful and uplifting feelings we are reminded of when, ironically, the cold winter season comes around. A state of nostalgia reminds us of past events that overwhelm our insides with strong emotions and our spirit with hope and enlightenment. The secret ingredient needed to keep brewing warm tidings during the holiday season is the celestial magic. It's the boost of optimism that keeps us sane and strayers away from depression. Positive reinforcements of thinking about others, doing good deeds through generosity and kindness, and individual improvements through reflection has a wondrously calming effect that composes the ultimate holiday masterpiece: happiness and warmth. Not to be a complete saint during these times, being placed on the other side...on the reciprocating end of these ordeals, it may seem selfish or even greedy. OR, to follow the route of optimism and the celestial ride through the holiday magic, maybe it's that we are just humans that want to be loved. It's feeling that we are needed, appreciated and wanted. And it's through these actions and words that all the yearned feelings above may be confirmed.

Anyways, the act of giving has always been an important aspect of my life and fosters the same emotional stimulation as helping someone would. I love seeing others smile. I love seeing them happy. I love seeing them want to be the best person they can be. Being a witness to them in their best physical, emotional and psychological state is...amazing. This act of helping and giving goes beyond the satisfaction of making a difference in someone else's life. It's solely about the other person. About being their shoes, and as them, being in the state of relative perfection.

SO, what's new in my life? The New Year's Eve movie was released in theaters this past Friday, and if you remember, NYE was one of the first productions that I worked on when I started down the modeling and acting path. And to my excitement, I did get some face time! Maybe I should and maybe I shouldn't be so excited since it's only background work, but what can I say...I'm pretty happy :)

After a nap and several movies, I arrive in Korea to find myself, in a not so surprising area...a restaurant, where I scarf down food as if I haven't eaten in a month. Being in a different country with such delicious food, who would be able to resist the temptations of food? Let's just hope this pattern does not keep up for every meal, three times a day for three weeks. Pictures and more details will be in the next post!

More updates to come....FROM KOREA!!!
Mucho <3

Story #75: Winter Days

Dear Santa,

I have tried my best to be a good girl all year. I don't know if you can deliver non-material things, but all I want for Christmas is to get a hold on life and to have a happy ending to my seemingly never ending journey to finding the right career for me. If not, I'll take a Visa gift card $xxx.

Thank you! Good luck with getting all the presents out in time to all the good children!

Stay Jolly!
Yours Truly,
j-wo

Note: This post is long due to the amount of pictures in it

So where did I leave off last? Ahh, all the pictures that I did not post in October! I still cannot post the Nike pictures since they still have not come out with their material, but I have pictures from the Gala held in Boston and GCC's anniversary service where I learned baking in mass is better done in smaller batches than in fewer large ones.

Silk Road Gala 2011

These pictures do not do justice to how beautiful the room was

GCC's Anniversary Service!
Half the batch: Pumpkin Bars, Carrot Cake, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Sugar Cookies, Oatmeal Cookies

2nd Half: Chocolate Fudge Cake, Pumpkin Bars, Carrot Cake, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Sugar Cookies, Oatmeal Cookies

November:
Continuing from the last post, Blue Bloods was fun, as usual, and I believe I got as much face time as you could get on that show. I guess we'll just have to see when they air it. I got my hair done, met old friends, and made a few new ones. As for the pictures, don't judge, I know I haven't been keeping up with my exercising, eating healthy and sleeping at a reasonable hour, but I DID just recently start fixing my bad habits. It's been a little shaky, but hopefully it will keep getting better.

The next worthy-to-mention November event was my reunion with my pledge sisters in the Big Apple! Having a girls night out with dinner, a movie, and chit chatting is a mandatory thing in a girl's life in order to stay sane. Boys/Men...you may want to respect that. We're crazy as it is, could you imagine what life would be like for yourself if you didn't encourage us to have our Girl's Night Out??

Dinner!

The Birthday Cake Aftermath. Thank you for making my birthday extra special!! <3<3<3

Vegging out on the couch (watching a movie)

Next stop, Maryland! Not only did I actually exercise a lot (which was exciting for me :P ) but I had an AMAZING time with one of my closest friends. There were many laughs, many talks and MANY hilarious moments that I wish you were all there for...but then again, it might have just been hilarious to us.

Getting ready for our night out in DC

More cropped pictures are on my Facebook (the outfits we tried on before heading out were a little ridiculous) :)

Onward to Thanksgiving. Since my oldest brother couldn't make it to our annual family dinner with the extended family, we had two Thanksgivings! nomnomnom Unfortunately, I only have pictures from my Uncle's house (I don't think it would be appropriate to post my mom in her non-sober state)

The Women :)

The original Wong's

I also baked cakes and cookies for my mom's good friend's surprise birthday. I baked a Carrot Cake, Chocolate Chip Cookies and a Green Tea Cake. Here's the Green Tea Cake...thankfully it turned out well and was a hit!

The final piece was much more decorated.

Now for some updated news. Recently, I did a gig on an MTV Prank Show pilot. I was portrayed as a Japanese School girl.

The star of the show is being camera shy :p

Me and my "Japanese" classmates. We're off to Go go's festival...the most famous dog in Japan!! We even had a theme song for Go go

And finally, the most exciting news of all!!! This Sunday I will be on the plane to Korea for 3 weeks! I am so so excited. Not to worry, I will have updates and new posts for all of you on a timely basis. Get ready so see scrumpdillyumptious food!

Stay tuned for my adventures in Korea!
Mucho <3

Story #74: Recap

re·cap/rēˈkap/

Verb:	State again as a summary; recapitulate.
Noun:	A summary of what has been said; a recapitulation.
Synonyms:	verb.  summarize noun.  resume

~ Thanks to google.com

So to recap my past couple weeks:
To start, I know I'm a little late in the game, but how was everyone's halloween?? I was planning to celebrate it on the 29th at the Maxim masquerade costume party, but the snow was a definite fun-stopper. And it didn't help that I was sick. I had the BEST costume every, with the help of a beautiful, talented girl...a professional salsa performer! It was sexy with a purpose...makes me feel a little less...provocative (??).

So this past Monday was my birthday!! Thanks for all the thoughtful birthday wishes!! :)
I know you guys are all wondering. How did I spend this monumental day that would not be possible without my parents? Skyline of New york, elegant dinner, crazy party scene dancing the night away...what an amazing night. Although that does sound amazing, I spent my day a little bit differently. I started my day with a doctors appointment, then I went shopping with my umma. Bought lots of clothes and a really cute purse! For dinner, it was just me and my parents. We ate sam gyup sal, miyuk gook (birthday soup) and to top it all off, mint chocolate ice cream cake. It might not have been a night out in the city but, it sure was a good birthday celebration. :D

For upcoming news...tomorrow I'll be working on Blue Bloods as a restaurant patron. It'll be nice to be back on set and getting into the groove again. Maybe I'll see that director again! The downside to all of this? I called in about an hour ago and I cringed when I heard my call time. I forgot how early they could get. I have a 6am call time with two train options, it takes about 20 minutes to get there from the Penn station plus an hour and 25 minutes to get there from Princeton Junction, so I will be taking the 3:59am train!! This means I have to leave my house at 3:35am. Seriously, I'm going to call into the office, get on top of my game, start working a lot more and find a way to live in NY.

And, next Tuesday I'll be leaving for Maryland!! I'll be visiting my really good friend for a week. CanNOT wait! (personal message: lovelovelove youzzzz) :) :)

More updates to come!
Mucho <3